Can U Handle This?
We all know that we Gays are addicted to looking good and keeping fit. (Those of you that aren’t I will be stopping by your house to collect your membership cards.) So it’s no wonder that there are hundreds of gyms in London to keep all of us looking our best, so that when we go clubbing we can take off our shirts and have some stranger suck our nipples raw! oooh!
There are gyms, and then there are gyms. I have been to plenty and each week I will review the best of the best and which ones to aviod. For me it is important to feel comfortable at the gym and feel that you can freely look at all the man candy without getting menacing looks back, so it is VERY important that the gyms be straight friendly. Let’s start with the first one, shall we?
Gym Box:
Formally an old cinema, situated on St Martin’s Lane, WC2, next to the very swanky St Martin’s Lane Hotel.
The gym is tiered, which harps back to its cinema days. The equipment is very good and up to date. The interior itself is a bit dark and has a black and yellow interior décor theme running through and can feel a bit claustrophobic. The name itself lends itself well to having a bit of gimmicky feel with a full-size boxing ring for all you would be ‘aggression beaters’ and a pair of boxing gloves gratis on joining to get you started. A bit annoying is that they have a DJ playing from about 6pm on week days which can be a bit intrusive if you are trying to have a work out with a ‘Very Personal Trainer’ as you have to keep saying pardon! Or is it me, just going deaf! There is also a big video screen that plays various movies etc.
The classes have quite interesting names such as ‘Bitch Boxing’ classes and Chav Fighting, which could be quite interesting to see a couple of chavs beat the shit out of each other! Opening times are pretty good through the week, but closing times at the weekend are not good as on a Sunday it closes at 4pm – not good for all you clubbers out there who have just got home! The reception staff are quite friendly and helpful and usually always say hi and bye.
The male changing rooms are quite a good size with individual showers and a small sauna but ok for a de-stress / relaxation after a hard day or work-out. Personal trainers were friendly and informative and can get you on the right path to your goals. I would say there is a 25% gay clientele with a few muscle Mary’s about and obviously a bit of eye candy, but, don’t stare too much as they are probably straight!
Something that I find a bit strange is this new “Human Weights” tactic. The idea is to actually use REAL people as part of your weight training regime! So instead of weights you use P.O.R.G’s! ( People Of Restricted Growth) Hmmm.. I’m not too sure about this but the pictures are hilarious!
Membership costs vary and can include towels and there are lockers to privately hire for an extra cost which is handy so you’re not carting your kit with you. Check out www.gymbox.co.uk for more info.
"Get This Midget Bitch Off My Back!"
