Well, we took a look at the best and so now it’s time to take a look at the music that made me wanna cry, puke and kill and trust me there was plenty out there this year that got me in that kinda mood so here it is my favorite time of the year to list my top 10 (+1) worst jamz of the year!
(Click on Covers for Videos, if you dare!!!)
11. “Not Myself Tonight”- XXX-tina
2010 was deffo not the year for an XXX-tina comeback and she really should have seen the writing on the wall when her first single in over 3 years failed to raise ANYONE’S interest but her own. The entire project was forced, fake and fucking awful. Thankfully she stopped with just 3 singles from the mess that was “Bionic” and then decided to concentrate on “Burlesque.” From the fake lezza-bits to the heavy breathing “Oh yeah’s” this is the one time when no one wanted to put up with XXX-tina’s brand of re-hashed funk.
10. “The Time (Dirty Bit)”- B.E.P
What do you get when you mix one of the cheesiest songs from the 80′s and one of the cheesiest bands of the decade? Well, you get more than your fair share of crap. This song has just no reason for existing besides the fact to just annoy the living daylights out of peeps. It seriously sounds like there is no more creativity left with these 4 and it’s time to pack away Fergie’s piss stained panties and call it a day cos that is the only REAL dirty bit about this travesty.
9. “Insatiable”- Nadine Coyle
Expectations were high for Nadine’s solo work and when we were subjected to this, most were thankful that it was only available at Tesco’s a place recognized for selling shit every day, cos every little bit helps. Well, Nadine has got the slutty looks, the annoying accent and the voice to make it big, but Jesus did she fuck it up trying to go down the “real artiste” route! There was nothing good about “Insatiable,” from the tacky epileptic seizure inducing video to the late 90′s sounding beat, this was something Nadine should have never, ever released as a proper single and should have just distributed this to her family for Christmas. (That is if she hated her family…)
8.”The Flood”- Take That
When we all heard that the “boys” were getting back together with Robbie Williams everyone and their fucking dildo was excited to hear what they were cooking. Would it be something fun and sassy like “Re-light My Fire” or something sappy and romantic like “Back For Good” sadly for all of us it was neither of those 2 things and we got a boring, grown-up, mis-mash of crap that people only bought cos it was their “Big Comeback.” Nothing remotely interesting here excepting the fact that Robbie Williams has got a HUGE mouth and receding hairline and well, after all these years Gary Barlow is still “the fat one.”
7. “The Club Is Alive” – JLS
JLS has got to be one of the most annoying boy bands EVER. Their music is about as disposable as a Tena Lady. They decided to sample The Sound Of Music, and it certainly did not help things any. It seriously made things even worse. The worst part is their image of squeaky clean boys that “just want to have fun” and wouldn’t harm a fly that truly annoys me. There is nothing sexy or entertaining about this. JLS is the musical equivalent of a Krispy Creme doughnut, looks delicious but in reality it’s just a fluffy piece of shite.
6. “Promise This”- Cheryl Cole
This was deffo the year for shitty ex Girls Aloud singles. First it was Nadine with her crappy debut single and then we had to suffer Cheryl Cole’s first single off of her 2nd album “Fucking Ugly Raindrops.” EVERYTHING about this song is annoying, from the weird chanting to her “oriental” eyes, this was one stinker we just couldn’t avoid due to the fact that she performed this atrociousness on the X-Factor and then debuted at no.1 on the UK charts. Uggh! Retire already!
5. “Poison” – Nicole Scherzinger
Nicole wants to be famous. She wants it BAD. After releasing flop after flop, she decided that the only way to make it big in the pop world was release one of the most annoying pop songs in the history of music. From the beginning you can tell what you’re in for with her screaming: “NICOLEEEEEE” and “RED ONEEEEEEEE” at the top of her lungs. The beat is ridiculous and the chorus is non-existent. She decided to kick the other pussies to the curb for this?
4. “Please Don’t Let Me Go” – Olly Murs
Who knew that so many people wanted to see a skinny pasty British geek naked. The only reason this hit no.1 was cos good ol’ Olly PROMISED to go naked if his single reached no.1 on the UK charts. Sure enough it hit no.1 and his nasty ass was naked on the cover of some trashy rag. Is the song any good? Please! This is an X-factor factory boy we are talking about and 9 times outta 10 you know the jamz are gonna be stinker than my grandma’s knickers after a 10 hour train journey. This was no exception.
3. “All Time Low” – The Wanted
The title says it all now doesn’t it? Who are these jokers and why do they hate music so much, is my question. Amazingly this crap-tastic single was a no.1 single for the boys in the UK ( Yes, more than half of the singles of the worst list were UK no.1 singles!!) There is no stopping these young “hunks” that “sing” about loveless nights and the love pangs. UUUGGGH! Take this prepubescent funk away from my ears! Seriously, how this managed the no.1 spot will be an eternal mysteries to me.
2. “Start Without You” – Alexandra Burke
This one takes the cake for a song that was annoying to begin with and then even MORE annoying once they shoved guest “rapper” Laza Morgan. This had everything to almost walk away with worst jam of 2010. From the Caribbean-lite beat to the lyrics that could only have been written by 1 retarded 12 year old, this moose face should have stuck to something she really has got a knack for… selling deodorant.
1. “Free To Love” – Jordan (AKA Katie Price)
Up till 2010, Jordan thought she could do anything if she threw enough money at it but this year she found out that no matter how much money she has, one thing you still can’t buy is people’s bad taste. Jordan was tired of releasing perfumes, “writing” her own books. So she decided to take time out from her busy horse fashion designing schedule and take 3 min to whip up this “song” that should be played to every terrorist when they aren’t talkin’ much cos one whiff of Jordan’s vocal stylings will have them telling the entire fucking world EXACTLY where Osama has been hiding for the past fucking 5 years!
