Don't Put Another Quarter in THIS Jukebox
I have no idea why I seriously put myself through the misery of listening to an ENTIRE JLS album but I figure I can not close my eyes to the fact that these guys are the most popular boy band in the UK and I wanted to find out what it is about them that makes them so fucking popular.
On paper these guys have got it all. The looks, the moves, the universal appeal that makes the gays like ‘em as much as the girls basically they should be amazing. Sadly for my ears they are anything but amazing. They aren’t even very good really, they are a mish-mash of every boy-band that has gone before them and they bring absolutely nothing new to the table.
‘JukeBox’ is their 3rd (!) album and it kicks off with the expected bang of “She Makes Me Wanna” which is catchy for all the wrong reasons. It’s just annoying and repeats the title so many times that it’s not wonder it was a no.1 hit. The problem with the majority of the songs is that they pretty much all sound like one long song. There is nothing that distinguishes each track, the only difference you can tell is that some of the songs a bit slower than others but almost all the choruses have an “OH, OH” or “Ah, Ah, Ah” it’s just really music equivalent of McDonalds, something that will satisfy you for a while but in the end if you have to much of it it could actually kill you. This will just kill your brain with it’s chirpy, over-processed vocals on EVERY song of teenage woe. The worst part of this entire CD comes 2 songs in with “Do You Feel What I Feel?” which samples s Bing Crosby’s classic festive hit ‘Do You Hear What I Hear?’ It’s kinda Christmasy , kind of clubby, it’s allover the place and seriously the worst song of the year. Sappy, boring and totally uninspired.
I wanted to have at least one glimmer of hope something that says there is something that these guys have that others don’t and after listening to the entire 12 track plus one bonus ‘live’ track I have to say that my opinion of JLS is the same as it was in the beginning. Yes, they can carry a tune, but then again so does the drunk that lives on my corner, does this mean that he should be recording music making millions..?Well.. not quite but then again most people really aren’t too demanding when it comes to the music they listen to and that is the key to JLS’s success. Thank goodness for stupid people.
My rating: 3 impotent cocks.
Here are the boys performing the worst single off of the album “Do You Feel What I Feel?”
