I grew up in probably one the THE worst places to grow up gay: Dallas, Texas. O.k maybe not the worst in the world, like say the Middle East, where they hang you if you so much look at another dudes crotch! But you know that high school is gonna be tough when you have your classmates wear fucking shit-kickers and cowboy hats to school. Seriously. I am NOT joking.

So what is a gay to do? Well for this queeny gay it was taking comfort in the fact that there was always a parallel universe that I could live out my whore-ish fantasies and dream about blowing the entire football team and then dancing at the local strip joint for a couple of dollars to pay the rent! Yes, I had very high aspirations as a teen!

In 92′ everyone was talking about Madonna and her “Erotica” album but I felt I wanted a bit more skank on my plate and along came a fine rose from Minneapolis by the name of Carmen Electra. She looked like she had just given 25 hand-jobs in a badly lit parking lot of a 7-eleven and had a look about her that said: “Will do ANYTHING for money!” I was instantly hooked. She was Prince’s protege (aka the latest chick he wanted to be) and in 1993 produced an album full of slut-pop classique’s that have stood the test of time.

The one song that stands out in my mind was “Go-Go Dancer” this was my jam and I played it whenever I had a particularly bad day at school. You know the usual “Fag” or the always character building “are you a boy or a girl” days of high school hell that were part of the everyday norm for a gay kid  with chola eye-brows and a mince that screamed : “Will do ANYTHING for cock!” It’s thanks to Carmen that I got through those days. When I saw the video to the song it all made even more sense. Carmen too was misunderstood at school, she just wanted to dance and girls made fun of her cos she moved like a cock-hungry whore and that was not the kinda girl that made squad. (Well, it was but they weren’t upfront like Carmen who put it all out there for the world to see.)

Some people turned to booze, others to coke but me, I turned to Carmen. She saved my life with this song about go-go dancing and taking off your top when you hear a thumping beat and see an “older gentleman” with a wad full of cash in his pocket. Yes, my high school years were pretty much like every other gay’s out there, fucking awful but it helped to know that a Carmen Electra would be there with her brass pole and stripper heels inviting me into her magical hooker-ish world, so I could leave mine behind and for that moment.. just.be.happy.

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My obsession with MISS.ROSS grows deeper and deeper everyday! I just think she had too much sass! She was actin’ up in the early 80′s with a new sexified look and at the time the 36 year old was looking better than some twinky 18 year olds! Yes, she was showing all those other silly ho’s how a real ho works out, stretches, and prances around in all sorts of colorful, skimpy leotards!

Yes, I could only be talking about the masterpiece that is the song and video “Work That Body” A single released in 1981. This song was about working out and not letting yourself go, so you wouldn’t end up looking like a fucking fat cow eating chips on the couch! No, hon-e not if you’re gonna hang with Diana and her pussy posse! She wants you to be as fit as a fiddle and no fucking about when it comes to keeping trim! Jesus, no wonder we gays love Diana! She was about as shallow and body obsessed as all us gays are!

Have a look at this classic moment in time!

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In the wilderness of all that is virginal and delicate there is a rose that is by far fairer than all other roses. This fresh rose goes by the name of: Lady. She is a creature of a unique glamor who’s pussy can yank things out of peoples hands in a split second! Yes, Lady has taken the entire web by storm with 2 songs that will keep strippers, whores and ghetto gays alike popping their pussies and asses till Long-Dong Silver cums home.

The first masterpiece is “Twerk” which has been in gays vocab for like EVER! It took a true visionary to bring the word to the masses and she has crafted a classy song that brings out the true meaning of popping your ass so some willing stud can slide his cock deep inside your hungry hole. No one does it better than Lady. Her look may say “suckie-fuckie-2-dolla” but her lyrics say “a woman in control of her own destiny.”

I saved the best for last and of course I could only be talking about the now infamous “Yankin.” This song is a true testament to Lady’s pussy-pulling powers. “This pussy be yankin” those are the lyrics that will be on every ho’s lips from London to Berlin, from Shanghai to L.A, Lady’s message of pussy yankin powers know no boundaries. One thing is clear, Lady needs a drink before she can fuck like a pro and I thought I was the only one that needed to be drunk off my ass to get a huge cock up my backdoor! Lady and I are whore-mates!

Enjoy the video to Yankin and trust that this song will RULE in 2011-2012 just in time for the Olympics!

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Diana sooo wanted to tap this!

Diana Ross is not someone you would expect to record and all out slut jam, but she did and she did it a long time ago, 1982 to be exact. The song was “Muscles” from her album “Silk Electric,” and it was written and produced by Michael Jackson. People were always looking for a clue as to Micheal’s sexuality and this is a track that could have only been written by someone who likes cock. I’m sorry but it’s just the truth.

Whore Heaven.

Diana had a thing for muscle men and she was not afraid to say just how wet a six pack and a beefy chest made her. I feel I have so much in common with Diana now. I mean she could so totally write this blog for me and pick guys herself.

I could always tell that Mz.Ross was a size queen. She just looks like she would be demanding in bed and of course pretty much everywhere else. This is just one of those songs that you can listen to over and over again and never ever get tired of it. It’s the perfect jam to play right before you’re heading out to the clubs on the lookout for a hottie!

The video is an instant classic with Diana flying through the oceans and a dudes pecs, seriously this is one piece of slut-pop cl-ASS!

Enjoy! I WANT MUSCLES!

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So when Britters burst on the scene there were hundreds of blonds that were trying to copy her look and style. Many would write Willa Ford off as a Britney wanna-be, but while Ms. Spears was toying with the idea of sex in her songs, Willa Ford was flat out singing about wanting to be bad, breaking rules and in general being a MEGA-SLUT!

In 2001 Willa released the song she will probably most be remembered for, the all out hooker-jam “I Wanna Be Bad,” and it was sex, sex and some more sex! She was nasty, she was skanky and you know what? She really didn’t give a flying fuck. That is totally my kinda girl. The video was one of the best strippa-videos ever made and it really made me want to hook up with a hot cop or go into some dance club and fuck the DJ and then mess around with the vallet boy… Yes folks, Willa does all that in less than 4 minutes, whomever said ho’s were lazy obviously never met Willa!

Sadly for her, people started to throw mega shade after she blatantly described herself as the “bad-girl” of pop. Well, people weren’t feeling her Jezebel ways and after that single Willa’s musical career took a nose dive. When her debut “Willa Was Here” was released it totally flopped like a 12 inch cock on the charts and the follow-up singles also bombed BAD! She has had a tad more success with her other endeavours, but we will always have this classic ass- shaking jam to whore to and seriously if I heard this track at a club right now I would totally strip butt nakkid! Willa wouldn’t have it any other way!

Enjoy this chica and all her gringa-funk!

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