Tweekin'

A couple of weeks ago on “Remix This! Bitch!” I took a look at killer remixes for Britter’s “If U Seek Amy” and Katy Perry’s “Waking Up In Vegas.” Now I have a fresh batch of remixes that I’m sure all you dance hungry Gays will just go loquita for!

What list would be complete without a Britney remix? Well, NONE! This is her 4th single off of her circus album “Circus”, and at first I was a bit “meh” about this release but after listening to the remixes of this single I have one thing to say: W-O-R-K! This are some of the Gayest remixes EVER! I LOVES THEM ALL! I couldn’t really pick just one but I think I picked the best one. “Radar (Versatile House Remix)” Have a listen!

Britney Spears – “Radar” (Versatile House Mix)

Even tough Lady Gaga is a bit annoying with her “artistic” expression bull crap there is still one thing that no one can deny: her music is A-mazingly fun. I really LOVES her 3rd single “Paparazzi” from her “The Fame” album.

ALL of her singles have been brilliant and her remixes have been nothing less than stellar. The Filthy Dukes Remix of “Paparazzi” is right up there with the original. Lady Gaga has firmly established herself as a force to be reckoned with in the pop world and if she keeps releasing remixes like this one, she will also be the queen on the club scene as well. ENJOY!

Lady Gaga – “Paparazzi (Filthy Dukes Mix)

Beyonce’s (or shall I say Sasha Fierce) released “Diva” here in the U.K and it has been quite a big hit for her. I HATE the original of this song cos that little robot voice repeating “I’m a a Diva” is so fucking annoying! But alas there are over 13 remixes for this song! I guess even Beyonce herself knew that not many people could really stomach the original.

The Dj Jeff Barringerz Vs. Fingaz Vocal remix of “Diva” takes this song into a whole other level and it’s quite good, more than good really, I would have to say bordering on brilliant. If you don’t believe me listen to it yourself!

Beyonce – “Diva (Dj Jeff Barringer-vs-Fingaz Vocal Remix)

So peeps that’s it for now, on the remix front but I have more remixes to come soon! Check out “Remix This! Bitch!” regularly and you’ll be one happy Gay!

Well, the whole internets is ablaze with Gaga and Honey B’s video for “Telephone” and I will say that the song was already a-mazing but with the video it takes it into another tranny-blitz-extravaganza level! Gaga surrounds herself with the best in the biz and she ends up well….. with the best!

The remixes for “Telephone” have been out for a while now and I have chosen the some of the best remixes for your hot lil’Gay ears and believe me you’ll be wanting to blast these right before your trip down to the Tranny-shack! So let’s listen to 3 remixes that are on FIRE!

Listen To: Lady Gaga Feat. Beyonce – “Telephone (Kaskade Radio Edit)”

Listen To: Lady Gaga Feat. Beyonce – “Telephone (Alphabeat Radio Edit)”

Listen To: Lady Gaga Feat. Beyonce – “Telephone (Tom Neville’s Ear Ringer Radio Edit)”

I know many Gays are creaming their knickers just at the idea of Beyoncé and Lady Gaga together for the song “Video Phone.” Well, now the video is out and all I can say is, it’s one hot tranny-mess! I think Gaga looks quite rough compared to Beyoncé. I like B even though she does try too hard but she is one of the few entertainers that can do it all, and you gotta give her props for that alone! They both dance it on out here and you can see Gaga’s influence on the video, which is a good thing.

I like the it but I think nothing comes close to the brilliance of “Bad Romance.” Then again it’s quite unfair to even compare the 2. Anyway have a look at these to trying to out-drag each other, and judge 4 urself!

She YUCK!

Shakira has just released her 1st single “She Wolf,” from her as yet untitled album, and I wish I could say something positive about this but it’s just very, very, stinky.

Shakira has always been quite annoying really, but with this new single the annoying-ness is on full blast! I find her voice irritating and I just don’t like it. So in reality for me to actually like a Shakira song she would have to….. hmmmm……not be in it!

The song has a disco-y feel to it and she sings/raps on the song. It tries to get funky but let’s face it there is nothing funky about this white girl. Now let’s talk about the single cover, I mean who is this woman? I know it’s not Shakira! It’s like a Britters clone from 2004 or something,  I think the main problem with her is that she really tries too hard.

My Rating: 4 limp cocks.

Sasha/ Beyonce has been releasing singles left and right and some of them have been great (“Single Ladies”) some good (“Ego”) and some have been all out YUCK! (“Diva”) She is now releasing the 6th single “Sweet Dreams” and it falls somewhere between great and good.

The song has a very electro-feel to it and I think this it’s pretty different from all of the other singles that have been knocking around the radio. This would have to be Sasha at her most “alternative” and I think this should really be the direction that good old Beyonce should take and leave the hood rat in…. well….. the hood.

Trannies around the world can breathe a sigh of relief cos Miss. Knowles has also released a video that will keep the imitations coming at your local Gay bar for many, many years to come.

My Ratings: 3 and a half stiff and juicy dicks.

Manos Abajo.

Here we have yet another Latin diva trying to make the Spanish thing work for her and whereas Shakira does speak Spanish Nelly does not. You wouldn’t be able to tell from her singing though she sounds very Hispanic which is about the only good thing I can say about this mish-mash of crap-ola.

“Manos Al Aire” is the first single from her first Spanish album “Mi Plan.” I don’t know why she decided to release a Spanish album after the massive success she had with “Loose” cos this song is nowwhere near the brilliance that was “Maneater,” but then again I highly doubt that level of a-mazing-ness will ever happen again. Nelly tries to do different things with her msuic and that is always a good thing but sadly the results are not always very good. Let’s just hope this was a crappy first single and the rest of her album will be listenable cos this ain’t.

My Rating: 4 dysfuntional cocks.

Single Of The Week:

Mary J Brilliant

Mary J. Blige is back with “The One” and she says that she wanted people out there to get to know “Crazy Mary” and if this is what she calls cray she should lose it more often cos this is EPIC!

Now people are going arond hating on our girl Mary cos she’s decided to use auto tune on this track and yes, it’s true that she does use more than her fair share of the “devil’s instrument” but I think that it  doesn’t distract from the fact the song itself is just the best thing that Mary has done since “Fine.”

I LOVE this and think you should to! Give it a lsiten and tell me if ya don’t agree.

Mary J. Blige feat. Drake – “The One”

Remixed DIVA.

Beyonce (or Sasha Fierce) is releasing a new remix album “Above and Beyonce: The Dance Remixes,” with over 8 remixes from her last album “I Am….. Sasha Fierce.” The strange thing about this entire project is that it will only be released Walmarts across the U.S. Now, why is that Sasha? Are you fans around the world not good enough to hear your remixed material? I think NOT!

Well, it’s not only remixes that are to be included on the double disc, the first disc will be the remixes and the 2nd will be a DVD featuring 7 videos.  It will feature all of the videos released so far and the cancelled single “Broken Hearted Girl”. To be honest the only 2 videos that are worth checking out are the classic “Single Ladies” and “Ego,” other than that, her videos for this album were a bit “meh.”

This album is only really for hard-core fans cos there isn’t anything on here that is a MUST-HAVE, except for the “OK Dac Remix” of her brilliant “Ego.” Now of course I wouldn’t say something like this without giving you a listen! Enjoy this remix cos it’s HAWT!

Beyonce – “Ego (OK DAC Remix)”

Anyway this week we have got some solid tracks and the usual shit. Let’s kick off this week in singles!

3rd Time Lucky?

It really must be difficult to be Katy Perry. I mean after having 2 Massive hits then releasing a total stinker (“Thinking Of U”) she now is rolling the dice and praying for a hit with her 4th single “Waking Up In Vegas”.

First let’s talk about the bad. Well, the song isn’t very memorable and there really is no instant hook like “Hot’n'Cold”. The song is a bit too rock-ish for it’s own good.

Now the good. The song has TONS of remixes and that is a very positive thing! If you really don’t like the original you can always pick a remix that best suits your taste. I think that this song has that going for it, oh and the video is pretty good.

So if you’re in the mood to dance your ass off then I highly recommend you download the Manhattan Clique remix and call it a day.

My Rating: 3 Gay Gambling Monkeys.

Yes, Beyonce We Know.

So far, Beyonce has her alter-ego “Sasha Fierce” beat with the releases of her singles off of their album. (That was confusing considering we’re talking about one person!)

This is the 3rd Sasha single “Ego” and it’s not bad but it’s not very good either. I guess, there really isn’t very much poor Sasha could do after the brilliant “Single Ladies”. The song is just very run of the mill and doesn’t have an instant hook or a really catchy beat to it either so we are pretty much left with the… VIDEO.

Now, you can say whatever you want about Beyonce, I mean Sasha, but the bitch can DANCE! The video for “Ego’ is F-E-I-S-T-Y! You just have to admire how she dances her ass off to such a “blah” song so I guess, I have to give her props for that. But seriously, other than that it pretty much falls flat for me. (I’m talking about the song!)

My Rating: 2 hours of Beyonce talking about her EGO.

Sadly, Hon, It's Not.

I really can’t take it any longer. Leona Lewis has been gone like 2 seconds and all of the sudden you have another girl that LOOKS exactly like her and that SINGS exactly like her to replace her.

This is Jade Ewen and she is releasing (WHY?) her 1st single ‘It’s My Time”. For all of our sakes let’s just hope that it’s NOT her time. This is generic music at it’s worst. Void of all depth and personality. I really do think that some managers/music producers/ record labels/ think that people are stupid. I mean how can you tell all this mass produced shit apart?

If I were you I really wouldn’t even bother torturing your ears with this shit cos it’s bad. Taliban bad. (Yes, it’s that bad.)

My Rating: I can only give this: NADA.

Single Of The Week:

The Saturday's - "Work"

These girls have finally done me proud by releasing “Work” their 5th single off of their debut album. This to me is right up there with the amazing-ness that was “Up”.

This song holds a special place in my heart only due to the fact that the lyrics are just above and beyond Gay. They make Rupaul’s “Supermodel” look like a campaign song for right winged homophobic republicans. This tune has so much sass that it should have been re-named ” 4 Minutes of SASS”.

Not only is the song a-mazing but it also has TONS of remixes that will pretty much guarantee that it’ll be played in all kinds of clubs ALL Summer long! So, I’ll just shut the fuck up and leave you with the tranny-licious video!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Have you’ve ever wondered what it would have been like to be in Destiny’s Child with Beyonce’s MEGA EGO? Well, then your prayers have been answered!

This video takes a look at a fight between the girls when Kelly Rowland told the group she was thinking about leaving. Things didn’t go down too well and let’s just say Beyonce was not having any of that shit.

This video contains my new classic phrase: “and to those bitches that left… they betta learn to sell pussy at Iceland, cos if I eva see them again, I’ma cut their fuckin’ throats!” I mean how classic is that? Oh, when Beyonce is right, she is right!

This is a MUST watch! ENJOY!

Cujo?

I’m sooo happy these guys are back! I really do LOVE The Prodigy. I guess that must be the edgy fag in me. After releasing “Invaders Must Die” last November as a free single from their website, this song, “Omen” is the first official single released from the new album.

Right away, from the first listen you know who you’re listening to. This song is classic The Prodigy Material. This could have been a bad thing cos it could have sounded dated and just out of step with today’s music but the truth of the matter is that this sounds as fresh and exciting as anything on “Fat Of The Land”.

This has proven to be a HUGE hit in the U.K peaking (so far) at no.4 and it might climb higher. I think a lot of people are happy to see the band back and sounding this strong. Now the only thing that I don’t like about this release is the video which is quite standard live concert footage… it’s just kinda pointless watching live images from a concert with a CD track playing. If it’s gonna be “live” then let it be “live”.

My Rating: 4 voodoo dicks.

Not so Bad.

Well, I guess Sasha Fierce had a bigger hit with “Single Ladies” than Beyonce did with “If I Were a Boy”, and now the tables have turned in terms of quality. While “Single Ladies” was slightly more adventurous than “If I Were a Boy” this time around “Halo” edges out Sasha’s robotic snoozefest that is “Diva”.

I just can’t get over the fact how selfish she is though. I mean at the end of the day this greedy skank is competing against herself. And I’m guessing this is exactly how she wants it. She doesn’t want to lose out to anyone, but if she is.. she’d much rather it be herself than let’s say, someone like….. ummmm… hmmmm… maybe… RIHANNA?

I’m really trying to enjoy these singles but there is just an after taste of “trying too hard” that really kills it for me. I mean I’m all for being an all around entertainer, but I think she tries to cover too much ground and ends up looking like….. well… a greedy cunt.

For what it is “Halo” is a nice R&b mid-tempo jam which I guess is pretty much all you can ask for from Beyonce, and that’s all it is folks. Oh yeah there’s a video for it too….

My Rating: 3 vouchers for clothes at House Of Dereon. (Take that however you want)

"Untouchable"

“Untouchable” is the 3rd single from “Out Of Control” and I think that they couldn’t have picked a stronger single. It is quite a monster and clocking in at just under 7 minutes this song is a disco extravaganza that is right up there with their best work. (“Biology”, “Something Kinda Ooh”)

I know that when released in single form it will be way edited but, if you want the full effect listen to the album version and problem solved. I’m most excited about the video cos if the video for “The Loving Kind” is any indication this one will be epic.

I really like the fact that just when you think that you’ve got these girls figured out they do something that you wouldn’t expect them to do. I mean releasing such a long song as a single isn’t what most artists would do but these girls aren’t afraid. And this is why I love them so. if you haven’t listened to the song yet, you can do so here.

My Rating: 5 disco dancing Gay Monkeys.

Single Of The Week:

"Never, Ever"

After listening to Ciara’s duet with Enrique I thought that was the last nail in Ciara’s coffin, BUT alas she has released “Never, Ever” and after “Promise” this is the best thing she has EVER done.

The song lifts it’s chorus from the Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes hit “If You Don’t Know Me by Now” and it really just sounds as though it was meant to be. This is Ciara sounding her klassiest and that is quite important after the klassiness that was “Promise”.

What really sealed the deal for me though was the video. I LOVE the way she dances her ass off to a ballad and she looks hot! I hope this song puts Ciara back on the map cos if this isn’t a hit we can kiss Ciara and her goodies… a good-goodbye.

Enjoy the vid!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Really?

I think that The Saturdays have accomplished something pretty amazing in such a short amount of time, and that is to score 3 top 10 hits in a row. The first 2 singles were pretty fantabulous but then they released “Issues” and let’s just say that it isn’t their best song. The thing is though, that despite not being a very good song it has reached no.4 on the U.K charts higher than the previous singles. So what does this say about the British public? They are really looking for a new girl group to make fun mindless pop music,

Yes I know, we have Girls Aloud but they have not really released and all out FUN dance track since “Sexy, No, No, No” and lets face it, that’s just what we want from girl groups.

The song itself is a mid-tempo snooze fest that would not keep anyone’s attention for long. In the chorus it sounds as though they are trying to sell the Big Issue, I just don’t get it really. If you REALLY want to like this song then might I suggest the Digital Dog Remix , it is 100% better than the radio version.

There is one MAJOR hope for these girls, and it is the next single “Work” that is their next single and it is about the most brilliant song they have recorded so far which I say here first, will be their first UK No.1, till then listen to the “Issues”remix.

My Rating: 3 and a half weeks waiting for their 4th single “Work”.

Sasha is up to her old tricks.

I don’t know what it is about Beyonce, Sasha Fierce that really gets on my tits. It may be the fact EVERYTHING she does just stinks of desperation, or maybe it’s just the fact that both Beyonce and Sasha are really annoying.

Here we have Sasha’s 2nd single “Diva” which begins with a very annoying robot sounding voice repeating “I’m a diva” like a gazillion times and if that wasn’t annoying enough, the song just stets out to prove how much of a diva (female hustler) Sasha REALLY is. I don’t get why she tries to prove that she is soooo Ghetto when she really isn’t.

This song breaks no new ground for Sasha and if this is the way it’s gonna go for her in terms of her sound maybe she should just hang up her tranny wig plus makeup and call it a day. If you’re bothered to watch the video click here, but trust me, when the mannequins in your video are more interesting to watch than you are, then you know you have a problem.

My Rating: 10 minutes listening to Sasha talking about wigs and makeup.

Sometimes the Remix is WAY better.

This is the 2nd single taken from “Out of Control” and while it’s not really all that new it has managed to peak so far at a disappointing No.10 here in the UK.  I hope that this song reaches at least top 5 cos it is a damn good song. BUT there is always room for improvement. The Wideboys remix is a brilliant rework of the song.

Not only does this song need mention but the video is also one of the best videos the girls have ever done so far. While many people think this is just another “Call the Shots’ , but for me this couldn’t be further from the truth. This song sounds fresh, and with loads girly attitude.

So If you haven’t already downloaded this song, take the time and download the Wideboys remix. Trust me you will not go wrong!

My Rating: 4 and a half happy Gay monkeys.

Single Of The Week:

Little Boots - Stuck On Repeat

If you have not heard this song by now you must listen to it right now! I said, Lady Gaga would be huge here in the UK and look where she is right now, No.1 on the charts both in the US and UK. But enough about her lets get on to Little Boots.

This song is just so amazing. It’s beyond anything I have heard this year, (well it hasn’t even been a month) but you get the point this shit is good!

She has released an E.P but what I want is a FULL album. If this song is anything to go by then the album will be brilliant. The great thing about this song is that while it does have a retro sound to it, it just sounds so now and modern. I could go on and on but I won’t so just fucking listen to it!

There you go, peeps! See you next week!

My Love... it's not happening.

Oh Celine, oh Celine, what an evil world we live in , gone are the days where your songs were actually played on the radio and now you have to resort to people talking more about your latest nose job than your music.

This song was written by Linda Perry, and it’s quite a pretty song, the video is quite boring. Now, Celine’s voice is alot like blowjobs either you like’em or ya don’t. I personally like blowjobs… wait…. back to Celine Dion, yes…..so  this is the first time that she keeps that voice in check and you might even say she sounds quite meek until the end where she unleashes her characteristic wail, but all in all it’s a very nice song, but nowadays “nice” will not get you a top 10 single. Celine is gonna have to make a huge change in the music she’s making if she wants to get back on the airwaves. If not, Vegas is ALWAYS willing to take ya back.

My Rating: 4 hours making out with Celine’s Peepaw husband.

Now we have Pops most talented (and desperate to prove it) all around entertainer: Beyonce. With her 2 new singles.

If I Didn't Try So Hard.

The first is “If I Were A Boy” which annoys the hell out of me cos it sounds as though she is just screaming towards the end of the song. The first couple of times I thought, “Wow, this is good”, but it’s not a song you can listen you casually, it demands FULL attention and let’s face it we don’t want that ALL the time. The video is really good and I think it’s quite creative, def better than the song itself.

I just wish this song didn’t try so hard to be good. I think I’ll end up liking this song but not cos of the song, but due to the fact that I like Beyonce.

My Rating: 3 Happy Trannies.

Single & Fabulous!

If “Serious” Beyonce is not your cup of tea then maybe “Materialistic Slut” Beyonce  is more for you with “Single Ladies”. This song is fun and very light. The only thing I don’t like is that is sounds a bit too much like “Get Me Bodied” from her llast C.D, which was a good song, but original? Not so much.

Now, what this song boasts is an AMAZING video . I have never seen such simple but energetic dancing. She really lets go and while the video is simple black and white, it’s just the dancing that really makes it worth watching. This supposedly is Beyonce’s alter ego “Sasha Fierce” and if this is what Sasha is like then let her hang around longer cos she seems like she knows how to get down.

My Rating : 5 Trannilicious runway walks with this song blasting in da back.

Single Of The Week:

Yes You Go!

Ciara is back and while she wasn’t away for very long, she has come back with a new sound and a very new look. Her last album “The Evolution” was not the runaway smash most people were hoping it to be, so now She’s got a lot to prove with this 3rd album “Fantasy Ride”. If all singles AND videos are as good as this she should have no problem achieving the same success she did with “Goodies”.

There is something quite sexy about almost all of Ciara’s songs. She really dances her ass of in the song and the song isn’t very “dance” but she sure works it out.  The only let down is T-Pain, just so random and so not needed. Other than that,I LOVE this song!

My Rating: 5 Gay Monkeys.